|Do you ever feel like you don't blend into your surroundings? |
I feel like I'm the last one out of my good friends I grew up with who isn't engaged or having/had kids or knows where I'm going in life. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy as can be for everyone of them, Happy to see how far we have all come. But as happy as I am it really reinforces the feelings about not "fitting in" with them anymore or feeling "left behind".
In all honesty, I feel I have the right to vent, get upset, be jealous & feel lonely. I should feel all these things because these are my honest gut reactions. It seems as if every other month I hear of yet another engagement/pregnancy through Facebook, And as much as I am happy for my friends and congratulate them, there's a tinge of jealousy and loneliness that comes with the realization that I'm STILL not that person.
Everyone is moving on and maturing and I'm kinda left here still trying to figure out "who I am" and trying so hard to find myself. I know I'm only 24, I know all the other things you are thinking. It's just difficult feeling like you are on the sidelines.
I wont dwell on these feelings. Being in my position at 24 isn't the end of the world. I just needed an outlet to vent my feelings and hope someone out there is listening are caring.
I love each one my friends dearly, and yes it's extremely silly to feel like this but its a feeling that has been growing more intense and harder to ignore over the last few years. I guess this is just part of the many many reasons I plan to move away.
I to want all these things, like any girl does! Now is just not my time and I hope my time will come around one day.
To each and everyone of you girls, I could not be anymore proud of you all, your families and where you all are now! Who would have even guessed 10 years ago that this would be happening!!??
I'm sure we would have laughed if anyone had of suggested it. I love you all!!!
The key to positivity is not to dwell on things you can not control.